I sit here at a local cafe, under the guise of working as my Facebook page looms to my left on my I Pad. Right now I’m stuck between scenes. Like a giant wad of gum has cemented my shoes to cracked concrete. It’s not writers block. That's a myth. Anyone can write every day by just putting words on the page or the keyboard. I can repeatedly write ‘see Jane run, see spot run, see Dick and Jane run after spot’ if I have to. At least my brain is connecting to the act of writing. It might be shit, but it’s written. When whatever crisis that keeps me in writing crap phase flames out, I will go back and excise the messy parts. Which is what I am doing with this failed novel, a wretched story that pushes me toward Facebook and twitter rather than engages me.
I have a litany of excuses
“I’m Bringing Sexy Back” is playing in my ears and I would rather dance
Twelve more inches of snow are headed this way
I have a nearly endless supply of student papers to grade.
All of these are valid reasons not to write, but what worries me most is I may have lost interest in my novel. I am rewriting a failed (truly failed) manuscript that would not even rate a 1 on Goodreads.
I have reordered scenes, changed the focus to the more likable character, introduced more scenes and characters, yet I’m still not doing this book any favors.
My BFF and editor Elizabeth tells me I am my worst critic. Maybe I need to hire her to read this draft. But it’s so bad I don’t to subject anyone else to the horrors within.
So I will keep writing. And eventually I will find the solution to this books, or, worse case scenario, abandon it. A relationship with one of your stories is like a love interest. Sometimes the best thing to do is break up. Yes, we've been together for years, and we know one another well. But do we still love one another? Yes, I cheated on you with another novel, but that story yelled louder. It shoved you down to the basement and it took you more than a year to crawl back up those steps. Both of us changed, took on new interests, and met new people. We may be over one another. Stop whining, okay? Why don’t we date for awhile and decide if we can commit fully to one another? Meanwhile, some of my Facebook friends require my attention. You will find me there.